Carlisle Saves Esme
by CopperPrincess
Summary: Carlisle is depressed. Esme jumps off a cliff. Edward sews a new pair of pants.


I knew what I was. And I knew that I couldn't keep it up much longer. I hated myself so much. I'd have gone to therapy, but I'd already been to med school three times, and knew nothing a mere mortal told me would help me. Still, it was an idea.

'And Lord knows I have enough cash to throw around if I decided to try it anyway,' I thought.

I kept walking. Suddenly, an idea came to me.

'Edward!' I thought. He could read minds. Maybe he could help me figure out my problem. 'No,' I decided. 'I won't put him through my torture. He's got enough to deal with right now, with his morals and dietary needs.'

I decided I needed to take a walk. I usually found Nature so peaceful that I felt reborn. I almost laughed. I had been born twice already. 'You'd think that would be enough for one person.'

"I'm losing my mind!" I shouted to the treetops high above me. "Madman on the loose! Watch out!"

Then I sighed and resumed my walk, extremely slow for someone like me. Slow even by human standards. Suddenly, I heard a noise. I stopped and shifted into my hunting crouch, ready for danger. I wasn't so lost in my misery as to not remember how to defend myself. Then I heard it again.

'If I didn't know any better, I'd say someone's crying,' I thought as I slowly started to creep along the forest path. I came upon a cliff overlooking the ocean, with a rocky beach right below. I also saw a young woman, maybe in her twenties, standing on the edge of the cliff. She was hugging herself, her shawls and hair blowing in the brisk wind off the ocean. Her scent was blown toward me a little, and I gasped. I had thought myself desensitized from "human temptation". Now this woman was just standing there, oblivious to her effect on me. 'Twas the truth she didn't notice me at all. I crept closer.

"OhGodOhGodOhGod," she was saying. Just those two words, over and over again. I thought, 'Sounds like someone I know. Except that I stopped believing in God a long time ago.'

"My baby!" she cried suddenly. "My only baby... The world is too cruel, too cruel..." She kept it up, pining after this baby of hers for a good ten minutes. I decided to go up to her and see if she needed help.

Before I had taken a step, she let out an agonizing, heart-wrenching scream. And jumped.

I couldn't believe my ancient eyes. This woman, as unbalanced as she had appeared to be, had just jumped off a cliff. What was the world coming to?

I didn't even stop to consider. I ran to the edge of the cliff and looked down at her, falling and weeping. I had to admit, it was a long way down.

'There's still time. She's still falling,' I thought. So I did the first spontaneous thing in my entire life, as a mortal and as a monster¾I jumped after her. I don't know why I did it. Maybe I thought I'd found a companion who could share my anguish. Maybe being a doctor for a couple generations had conditioned me to help wherever and however I could. But I did it.

I quickly took up a diving pose, streamlining myself so as to catch up to her before she hit the rocky beach below. I reached her in seconds, and cradled her in my arms for a moment. Then I rolled over so we would land on my back. The mystery woman appeared to have fainted, because she didn't react at all when I grabbed her out of thin air.

We kept falling. I looked down, hunting for a spot that had less rocks and more sand to land in. I found a spot I thought would do, and headed toward it as we fell.

Seconds went by. Then, we landed, and the breath was jarred out of me. I didn't need to breathe, so I stopped. At impact, the woman had been wrenched from my arms and thrown a few feet away from me.

After the dazed feeling left me, I crawled over to her. Being the good doctor I am, I checked for a pulse. When I found it, faint but steady, I jerked back. A fall like the one we had just undergone should have killed her, even with me trying to help her. I checked her vitals as best I could, and she appeared to be paralyzed from the neck down. I stayed with her on that beach for many hours. She kept slipping in and out of consciousness, but always asking if her baby was okay. And every time, I assured her he was doing okay, he was just taking his afternoon nap.

Sitting there with her, I started to grow a little attached. I empathized with her anguish and frustration, and felt the desire to reach out and comfort her, even though I had the least idea how to do that. I just knew I had to try. Telling her her baby was napping was one of the ways I tried to make her feel better. I also tried cradling her in my arms. Like in the movies my colleagues would drag me to go see. To my surprise, it worked and she would calm down.

Around sunset, her pulse started to once again grow faint. I knew that if she was to make it, I needed to get her proper medical treatment fast. I also knew that even with my superhuman speed, we would get there too late.

A crazy idea came to my mind. I could change her.

'It'll only cause her more pain. Hasn't she suffered enough?' the sensible side of me asked. I let the idea go; I just couldn't put her through more difficulties. But the idea still intrigued and haunted me. I had created Edward as a companion in my loneliness and exile from society. But maybe my issues could be solved by a female companion. Maybe I was love starved.

And the woman lying in front of me on the sand was not going to get better. So I made the second spontaneous decision of my life and of the day. I leaned down close to her neck. I could hear her pulse, faint as it was, trying to sustain her. I could smell her sweet blood. A rush of venom entered my mouth. I hesitated for a moment, then...

My teeth sank into her soft neck. She was in one of her unconscious phases, and that made me feel a little better, since she didn't feel anything. I bit into her jugular. Her blood gushed into my mouth, and I knew if she were to survive the transformation I would have to pull back. Now. Gathering up my resolve, I removed my mouth from her neck. I started biting her other main arteries and veins, thinking it would expedite her conversion to immortality.

When I was done, small trickles of blood were seeping out of the cuts I'd made. I once again held my breath. I may be desensitized, but no one was infallible. She continued to just lay there, unmoving but still breathing.

To distract myself from the blood, I looked around us and noticed that while our location was a little sheltered, anyone could come along and see us at any moment. So I swept my mystery woman into my incredibly strong arms and started searching for the forest path, which led to a secluded place where we could stay for the next week or so.

I regained the forest path I was on earlier and started along with a purpose and determination in my step. I soon came upon the abandoned cottage I had found while out walking one day. I opened the front door and lay the woman down on the bed. I pulled a chair up to her bedside, and got ready to wait for her.

After about thirty minutes had gone by, she started to move her hands. I had wondered if she would still be paralyzed after her heart stopped beating, but I guess the conversion that made me and others like me perfect and whole also cured paralysis. As time went on, she started regaining motion in her arms, legs, and lungs. She started screaming like a banshee at noon on the day after I had brought her here. She had a set of lungs on her, this one. Still, I did what I could to try to ease her pain. I tried everything¾I talked to her, I held her hand, brushed her hair, even tried a cool cloth on her forehead. I was that desperate. But nothing I tried worked. She kept screaming, and it nearly tore my heart to pieces listening to her. Nevertheless, I had caused her pain and I refused to leave her side for any length of time. So I suffered in silence, while she yelled and thrashed and carried on.

On the evening of the third day, she began to quiet down a little bit. I sighed, thinking the worst was over. Her movements started to become less violent. Her breathing became less labored. Finally, the transformation was coming to a close. A very long, drawn-out close. She didn't stop fidgeting and fighting until a full twenty-four hours later.

On the twilight of the fourth day, she opened her eyes. Her blood red, slightly crazed eyes. She stared at me for a long moment. I stared back, mesmerized by what was going on. She blinked, and the spell was broken. I smiled at her, and introduced myself.

"Hi there. My name is Carlisle. Welcome to immortality," I said. She continued to stare at me, blinking occasionally. This wasn't going as I planned.

"Where am I?" she whispered hoarsely. She had been screaming at the top of her lungs for three or four days nonstop after all. But at least she was lucid and talking.

"You are in a cabin in the woods. I'm Carlisle," I added, not knowing if she had heard me the first time.

"Yes, you told me that. I can hear just fine. What is that rustling sound? It sounds like a mouse in the rafters," she said calmly. I gaped at her. She was already realizing and using her heightened senses. Amazing.

"Do you remember your name? What you were doing last? What date it is? Who the president is?" I asked, trying to get an image of how much she remembered of her life.

"My, my name is...Esme. Yes, Esme. I...I think I jumped. I was falling... And it never quite ended. The date. Ummmm. I can't say I know that, exactly. But I'm sure if you find a newspaper, it will have the date on it. The president.... I'm sorry, I can't help you sir. Perhaps you could ask someone else..." she ended faintly. I just kept staring at her, amazed. Her memory was good. She even remembered her manners.

"Well, Esme, we need to talk. As I said, welcome to immortality. First, I'll bet you're thirsty. How about a drink?" I offered.

"Yes, thank you. A drink would be lovely," she replied, her eyes roving the room, probably looking for the kitchen.

"Let's go."

I grasped her small hand firmly and pulled her to her feet. She looked down at herself, then looked back at me.

"Do you have a mirror? I think I look different than I'm supposed to," she explained when she saw my stunned expression.

"Uh, no, I don't have a mirror. Now come on, while it's dark," I urged, gently trying to pull her toward the door.

"Let me just check my hair and makeup before I go out," she said, pulling back. This woman was insane. Did she really just say she needed to check her _hair and makeup_?

"Look, Esme. We need to hurry. You don't need to check your hair. Or makeup. You look just fine. Really, we need to go now," I reiterated when she once again attempted to pull away from me. Boy she was strong. Not as strong as Edward had been, but she could probably beat me in a fight. I sincerely hoped it didn't come to that.

"But-" she started.

"Now," I said in my doctor voice. "We need to go _now_."

"Oh, alright, if we _must_..." she sighed.

"Yes, we must. Now come on! You like running?"

I started at a jog, pulling her along easily. She came willingly. After a few minutes of slow jogging, she started to pick up speed. She smiled and giggled. And stopped suddenly.

"Now what's the matter?" I asked warily.

"My baby! Where is he?" she asked, frantic.

"Well, I don't know," I admitted.

"He must be...." she stopped, and bowed her head.

"He must be...?" I prompted.

"He...he died. He died!" she yelled. She had an amazing talent for it. Then she started sobbing.

"Don't do that. Don't cry. Everything's going to be okay. But we need to go..." I tried to remind her, but nothing and no one were going to move her until she was good and ready.

"Look. Esme. I'm really sorry for your heartbreak. Truly I am. But crying won't do him any good. He's...he's in a better place now. Don't you want the best for him?" I asked, trying to reason with her so we could get moving again.

"How dare you! HOW DARE YOU!" she screamed. I jerked back, surprised. This wasn't exactly the reaction I had been expecting.

"Did...did I say something to upset you?" I tried. She just gave me a look that said 'Are you kidding?!?'. I really sucked at this.

"I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't mean to. I...I'm sorry," I ended, confused. I bowed to her. And hoped with all my heart she would accept my broken apology and come with me. We really did need to get a move on.

"I accept your apology, sir," she said stiffly, making a perfect, sweeping curtsy in return. "I tend to...overreact sometimes. But, you see, I just had the most perfect little baby boy, and he died in the hospital a few days after he was born. I've been a bit of a wreck ever since," she explained.

She'd been more than 'a bit of a wreck'. But I wasn't about to tell her that. I just nodded to her, and she nodded back. I tentatively reached for her hand. When she didn't pull away, I held her hand and started walking. She came with me, looking melancholy, but cooperating. Finally, a step in the right direction. Literally.

We finally came to my hunting ground around midnight. We'd had to make a few more stops, as she became aware of her other losses. I had to admit, she'd had more than her fair share of losses, tragedies, and heartbreaks in her short life.

When I stopped, she did too, a little surprised. She looked around her with interest, then turned to me.

"Where are we? Could I have a drink now?" she asked.

"Well, we are at my hunting ground," I responded. Seeing her expression, and that she was about to interrupt, I continued on, "I will explain everything to you later. But right now, tell me. What is your body telling you to do?"

"Um, it's telling me to...to get low. Low to the ground," she said, sounding confused.

So I hunkered down into my 'ready crouch'. She continued to stand there, looking down at me. I jerked my head, and she caught the message. She got into a half-crouch next to me.

"May I?" I asked, adjusting her into a better position. She nodded warily, then held still when I crouched back down myself.

"Now what is your body telling you to do?" I inquired, thinking it was going to be a long night. Slowly yet surely, we made it step by step through the process of hunting. At one point she stopped and said her body was telling her something was wrong. When I asked what was wrong, she replied that she didn't know. Something just felt a little wrong. 'It must be the prey we're going after,' I thought. Her body was telling her to go through these motions, but on a human instead of the huge buck I could smell was a little bit away from us.

When she was ready, I told her, "I'm going to go bring that buck down. You watch what I do very carefully, then it will be your turn to try. Okay?"

She nodded, and I headed off. I took a few steps, then looked back at her to make sure she was watching what I was doing. She was, and I turned back around to the task at hand. The buck was young and healthy. Extra cautious, too. He must have a mate or herd close by. Before he had time to blink, I ran up and snapped his neck. He died instantly.

I dragged him back to where Esme was crouching in the bushes. She looked appalled.

"Now it's your turn. I'm going to hang onto this guy in case you don't bring down something of your own. Let's go find you a deer, and see what you can do."

I grabbed her hand again and pulled her along, scenting for a suitable animal. I found one that was injured. It was perfect for a first-timer. It couldn't run far, if at all, and its bones were more brittle.

"Okay. Just do to this oldie what you saw me do to this," I said, holding up the carcass that was still in my hand.

"But I can't," she explained. "That's completely barbaric. I can't kill a deer. It's not proper for a lady to hunt." She huffed, looking annoyed.

"Don't argue with me. Remember, listen to what your body is telling you. Now, what does it want you to do?"

"It...It wants me to go...go do to that beast...what you did...to that deer. But, my mind is telling me no. What do I do?"

She sounded pathetic. "Follow your instinct. What your body tells you to do. Now, go make me proud," I added, giving her a gentle shove in the direction of the deer.

She walked toward it slowly, looking around, calculating. I could see it in her eyes. She wasn't doing it exactly like I had, but as long as she got the beast and caused it as little pain as possible, I didn't really care what her technique was like.

I blinked, and she was walking toward me, deer in hand. She had been that quick about it.

"Did I do it right?" she asked tentatively. I wasn't about to tell her I hadn't seen it, so I did the only thing I could do¾I told her yes, she had done a marvelous job.

"So, now what do I do?"

"What your body tells you to do. It's your greatest tool. Listen to it to know what to do when you aren't sure," I said.

"Okay..." she said, sounding a little unsure. She knelt down on the ground next to the creature's neck. She lowered her head, hesitated, then bit down gently on the jugular. As I watched, she quickly got the hang of it, and was gulping the blood down as quickly as possible. I turned away to survey our location and the sky.

"You going to eat that?" she asked, looking pointedly at the carcass still in my hand.

"No, you go ahead," I replied with a smile. 'I'll bet all that screaming she did is making her extra thirsty now,' I thought to myself. It didn't bother me, but we did need to start home soon.

As soon as she finished, she asked if I had a napkin or kerchief she could borrow. I handed it to her, and she daintily wiped her mouth and chin.

"That was good," she said. I nodded, then got up from sitting on the hard ground.

"We need to go home," I told her. "There, I can explain everything to you. Okay? You ready to go?"

"Yes, alright. I'll admit, I'm feeling much better now. Thank you," she replied. I was a little surprised as to why she said 'thank you', but by this time had learned that asking would delay us for far longer than I wanted. I kept my mouth shut.

I once again grabbed her hand, and we started walking toward my house on the outskirts of town. She quickly got fidgety.

"Is something wrong?" I asked. I was willing to make delays if her health or safety was at issue.

"No, I was just wondering if we could run. I just...have this insane urge...to fly. Let loose and fly," she said, a dreamy look on her face.

"Oh. Yeah, sure, we can run," I said, happy to oblige. So I dropped her hand and took off. She caught up with me in under a second, and would have passed me if weren't for the fact that she needed me to lead her to where we were going.

After a few effortless, and admittedly fun, minutes, we reached my house. I led her in the front door and into the living room. I told her to make herself at home, then I moved in front of her, sometimes pacing, sometimes demonstrating, sometimes just standing. I explained to her what I was. The thirst for blood, pale yet sparkly skin, the super strength, the heightened senses, the venom, and every other topic that popped into my head. I also told her about Edward. How he and I were companions, but he was away on a 'soul vacation' for a little while. I also told her about Edward's gift of mind reading, and how she might develop something 'special'. All the while I was talking, she followed my movements with her eyes, never moving so much as an inch. When I had explained everything, I asked her if she had any questions for me. Did she ever.

"So I'm a...a vampire. Is that right?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yes, that's exactly right."

"And I therefore have to do what I just did today, a lot?"

"Yes. I usually go a week or two between feedings. Because you're a 'newborn', your feeding schedule will be a little sporadic. You'll adjust eventually."

"And I'll live forever?"

"I wouldn't call it living, exactly. Right now, your heart is not beating. Blood is no longer flowing through your veins and arteries. In a sense, you are one of the living dead."

"That is not funny."

"What, don't you have a sense of humor?"

"No, I must have left it up on that cliff. Explain that part again, please."

So I once again took her moment by moment through my insanity, my nature walk, my seeing her on the cliff, her jump, my jump, the fall, the landing, the conversion, and the cottage. She didn't speak another word for a long while. I probably could have been a bit more eloquent in my explanations, but I wanted her to know the truth. She was a big girl. She could take it. Or so I thought, until her face became sad once more.

"It's just, all so new. And unbelievable. This is supposed to be the stuff of legend and fairy tales. Children's stories. It...It's just a lot to take in all at once. I need a rest. Do you have a spare bedroom you could lend me?"

"That's another thing. You can't sleep."

"Why can't I? Don't _vampires_ need their sleep, too? You know, hanging upside down from rafters, in coffins, or whatever?"

I smiled. "No, I mean you literally can't sleep. It's impossible. I have a theory as to why, but I don't really know the exact reason. It's just the way things are. You can still go to a bedroom and lie down and think, if you want, though." I don't know why I was suddenly shy and uncertain. Maybe it was the shock catching up with me. After all, I had just turned yet another human being immortal.

"That would be great," she said, and paused. "Could I trouble you to show me the way?"

"Oh! Yeah, sure. Of course. Right this way." 'Duh,' I said to myself. 'How would she know where anything was in my house?' I quietly led her up the stairs, down the hall, and into an empty bedroom.

"Here you go. Feel free to explore the house, move about, go outside, whatever. Just don't go far. Stay within a hundred feet of the house. I know I sound bossy, but trust me on this. The urge to kill is very strong. I don't know if you're up to it quite yet. Go into the woods in the back if you feel thirsty."

"Where are you going to go?"

"I'm not sure. First I'm going to try to call Edward and see if he's close by or on his way home yet. We need to have a talk, the three of us."

I went back downstairs, leaving Esme to her own devices. She confused me a bit. I had never spent much time around women, as a human and especially as a vampire. I'd have to think about it later though, since right now I needed to contact Edward. I walked back into the living room and pulled out my telephone. It was a new model, and should be able to reach the town Edward had written me that he was in. I dialed the operator, and asked for the hotel he was staying at, saying it was out of town. The operator, a cranky old woman, grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "dumb kids" and put me on hold. I waited, then heard a voice. I asked for Edward's room, and was put on hold again. Then I heard Edward's voice, a little scratchy and definitely annoyed, say, "Hello?"

"Edward, I need you to come home. Now."

"Is there something wrong?" His voice was no longer annoyed, but concerned.

"Well, I don't know if it's wrong or right yet."

"Uh-oh."

"Just come home, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Quickly."

"As soon as you hang up, I'm going to leave. Since it's so urgent, I'll run home. It's been a while since I had a good run."

"Yeah, okay. Just, run fast."

"Got it. Good-bye."

"See you soon." I hung up. Now all I had to do was wait. I decided to go talk to Esme. Try to learn a little more about her. I went back up the stairs and down the hall to her door. I knocked softly, and waited.

"Is that you, Carlisle?"

"Yes, it is. May I come in?"

"Yes, alright. Actually, I would like to talk to you." I opened the door cautiously.

"I just talked to Edward. He's on his way home now. He should be here in a few minutes."

"But, I thought you said he went out of town. Won't it take a couple of hours at least?"

"He's running home. Super strength, remember?"

"Oh. Right. So, I just wanted to ask you a few things. Personal things. Is that alright? You can, of course, asking anything you want about me, even though I've given you a glimpse of what my life was like."

"Ask away."

"Just how old are you?"

"I don't know exactly, but about 200-something." I thought I saw her flinch a little.

"How did you, you know, change?" So I told her the story of how my father and I went 'hunting'. About his death (she seemed genuinely sorry for my loss), how I took over the 'hunting party', about finding a true coven of vampires living in the sewers, and how I went through the conversion process. She remained silent through my entire narrative, then said, "That's incredibly tragic. You know that, right?"

"Well, I never really thought about it like that, but I suppose it is. Now, could you tell me how you ended up on that cliff? You seemed, extremely...upset, when I first saw you."

"That's a mild way of putting it."

"I didn't want to accidentally offend you again."

"I thank you for your consideration. My father arranged for me to marry a man who I think was way too old for me, but he didn't care. We were married, and went on a ten-day honeymoon. I...eventually became pregnant. I for one was thrilled. I'd always wanted children, lots and lots of children. So a few days ago I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. But he died the next day. The hospital kept me for a few days, then released me, and I went to the cliff. You know the rest after that."

"Wow, I...I'm sorry, I had no idea. That's terrible," I said. I couldn't believe how wretched her life had been. Maybe eternity as a vampire _was_ better than what her life would have been like.

Suddenly, Edward appeared in the doorway. He glanced at me, then focused his attention on Esme.

"Hello there. I'm Esme."

"Edward." And he went back to studying her.

'Be polite. She doesn't understand,' I thought, hoping he would get the message.

"She does understand. That's why I'm continuing to do it."

"What do I understand?" she asked.

"Remember that special gift I told you Edward has?"

"You mean the mind reading?"

"Yes. Well, right now, that's what he's doing. And he knows that you understand...everything...more than I thought you would at this point in time."

"Oh. Well, carry on then." Edward laughed at her acceptance of him and his talent.

"All finished. And thank you for explaining how you came to be here," Edward said. "You've led a most fascinating life. Who was the man you were married to?"

"I do not wish to revisit that horrible memory right now, if you don't mind."

"No, not at all. I was just curious. So, Carlisle, what did you call me here for?"

"Can we talk about this downstairs? In private, please?"

"Sure. Esme, do excuse us for a few moments."

"Yes, yes, of course. I'm just going to stay here, if that's alright," she said, laying back down on the bed and staring out the window.

I followed Edward back downstairs and to the living room, where we had all of our 'family discussions'.

"So, what do you think of her, Edward?"

"I think I need to listen to your side of the story first."

"As if you don't already know it."

"Let me see...." He sat down on the table, and was silent. I went through everything from my crazed walk in the forest to our jump of faith to her first hunting experience. When Edward finally looked back at me, his expression was unreadable.

"Well? What do you think?"

"I think you absolutely made the right choice in changing her. You have no idea how truly horrible her life was. I don't blame her for choosing to jump. I also can't believe you jumped after her. But I'm glad you did. It's been a long time since I had a mother looking and worrying after me."

"What? What makes you think she's your mother?" I spluttered.

"Carlisle. I've read both your thoughts. I know that she thinks you're...handsome. And a much better age than her human husband. I also heard what you think, and you like her. Why else would you jump off a cliff to try and save her?"

"I...I...maybe."

"Definitely. Maybe you guys should go on a date. She seems to have an incredible amount of self-control for a newborn. Though you still shouldn't go into town."

"I just want what's best for her."

"I know. And I also think that you two will really hit it off. You guys are perfect for each other."

"No way. We're so different."

"Just try it. Give it a chance. For me? I want a mother."

"Yeah right. A mother would have stopped you from going on that journey of self-discovery you were on."

"A mother would have talked about my problems with me and helped me work them out so that I wouldn't have to go on a 'trip of self-discovery'."

"So have you discovered yourself yet?"

"I've decided to stay. I don't know about finding myself. I kind of feel like there's a part of me that's missing, but I don't know what."

"We'll talk about it later."

"Yeah, alright, I see you're dying to get back to Esme."

"I am not!"

"You are too! And it's nothing to be ashamed of. Go up and see her. I'm going to go hang out in the parlor."

"See you in a little bit, then."

"Later." I once again found myself walking back up the stairs and down the hall. I knocked softly on her door.

"Come on in," she called, a little louder than necessary. I guess she didn't realize I could hear her if she whispered, with my heightened hearing. Nevertheless I opened the door and walked in. I stood on the throw rug, unsure of how to broach the topic I wanted to talk to her about.

"Yes?" she asked, seeing my hesitation. I ended up pulling the desk chair over to her bedside and sitting in it, leaning forward and hanging my head.

"We need to talk."

"What about?"

"The future."

"Oh. Like what?"

"Your behavior, your plans, your wants, your lifestyle. That sort of thing."

"Well, I thought my mother taught me to have excellent behavior, but if you think it needs improvement..."

"No, that's not what I meant. When I said behavior, I meant that you're a newborn. And newborns tend to be...difficult to control."

"Why would you, or Edward for that matter, control me? Or try to anyway..."

"The thirst for blood is very strong. Ultimately, it will be your choice to make, whether to be true to your nature or to embrace our way of life. But the natural inclination is to hunt humans. Living breathing humans."

"Yes, I understand that. And that it is necessary. But I don't like the idea of killing. Therefore, I would like to hunt just animals and game, not humans. My mother told me that I could be very stubborn and determined when I wanted to be, and I've set my mind to follow your 'vegetarian' way of life."

I was stunned by her little speech. I thought I also heard Edward laughing somewhere downstairs. Just in case, I sent him a mental image of me locking him in the hall closet and 'losing' the key. Then I knew I heard him laughing.

"Esme, that's great, but, you really don't know what you're up against. Instinct is an incredibly powerful thing."

"Yes, and so is the mind."

"She's got a point there," I heard Edward say.

"What was that?"

"Edward. The super hearing. He's been listening in on our conversation. It's not entirely his fault, since his mental...capabilities...are always there, telling him the thoughts of those around him."

"I see. So, about the other stuff you mentioned. I don't mean to be forward, but, could I..."

"Yes?" I prompted when she hesitated.

"Could I stay here? You said I'll be unstable and should stay away from people, so this seems a safe place. And you and Edward could help me...cope. Just at first. If it doesn't work out, I could leave. But I would like to stay for a little while, if that's okay with you two."

"Of course it's okay. I was going to suggest you stay with us for the first year, maybe three, until you were ready to make a decision. With that out of the way, I think we've covered everything. You will embrace our lifestyle, stay with us for a while until you are ready to make a decision about your future, your behavior. Oh, there was one more..."

"My wants."

"Right. So, what do you want?"

"Another deer."

"Follow me."

I got up from the chair and opened the door for her. We walked downstairs and into the parlor, where Edward was working on a new composition.

"It's beautiful."

"I'm sorry?" Edward started. He became extremely absorbed in his work. Sometimes to the point where he was mindless to everything else. "Did you say something?"

"I said it's beautiful," Esme repeated, gesturing to the grand piano he was seated at. "The piano, the music, it's absolutely beautiful."

"Oh. Thank you. Have fun on your hunting trip."

"How did you..."

"Super hearing and mind reading," he said abruptly.

"Be polite," I cautioned him. "Don't scare the new girl. It's rude."

"No, no, it's my fault. I shouldn't have interrupted him. I'm sure he's very busy right now. We were going to go hunting..." she reminded me.

"Yes, we were. Edward, we'll be back in an hour or two. Hold the fort."

"Mmmmmm."

"Come on," I said, suddenly eager to leave the house. "It's just starting to get dark. The animals will be coming out now."

I took her back to the place I had first taken her to. And decided to give her a solo run.

"I'm going to let you try to find your own prey this time. Use your nose. I know it sounds silly, but your nose is now even stronger than a hound's. You probably won't see me, but I'll watch you and at the end let you know how you did. Listen to what your body tells you. Don't take mother animals. Their babies will be left orphaned if you do, and that's against our philosophy. Also,¾"

"Carlisle," she said softly. I stopped rambling and looked at her angelic face. "I know. Let me." She took off at a dead run, seeming to dare me to keep up with her. After about a mile, she came to a graceful stop and put her face to the wind. I did the same, and caught the scent of deer. From the smell on the wind, it was very big, strapping, healthy, and vibrant. She started in that direction. 'Maybe she's trying to prove herself to me. By bringing down a big animal, she's showing me she can be self-sufficient.'

I watched her movements, so lithe, as she quietly approached the field where the deer we were tracking was grazing. We stopped as one on the edge, still in the cover of the trees. With my sensitive sight, I saw her creep around, still in the trees, to the animal's rear. It picked it's head up, looked around, then went back to grazing. Suddenly, Esme burst out of the trees and with both hands grabbed the doomed creature's neck, snapping it effortlessly. She then stood there, motionless, waiting for me to tell her how she'd done.

"Very good," I said, walking quietly up to her. "You used your head and took it by surprise. And it was a clean kill. I just want to say, sometimes you won't kill your prey before you feed on it. Just as a heads-up, it sometimes is in flip-flopped order."

"Thank you. For the analysis and the warning. Mind if I...?"

"What?" I said. I wasn't very astute when it came to women.

"I know this sounds silly, but I would rather not have an audience when I, you know, _feed_."

"Oh. Sure." I turned around on the spot, letting her enjoy her meal with a little privacy. I was tempted to peek, but kept myself still. I could still hear, though, and it made me a little thirsty. 'It's been a week. You can hunt,' I told myself. 'Just as soon as Esme finishes.'

She again asked me for a kerchief, and I handed it to her. It still had the blood from before on it. She looked at it dubiously, then wiped her mouth daintily.

"Um, Esme, do you mind if I find a deer for myself? I'm getting a little thirsty myself."

"Of course. Go right ahead. You don't mind that I'm here?"

"No, not at all. Usually Edward and I hunt together anyway."

"Oh. I didn't know."

"That's alright. Come on. I smell a nice young buck a few miles away..."

I started running, Esme on my heels the entire way. I hoped she would challenge Edward to a race. A defeat would do him good, for a change. I certainly wasn't fast enough, and Edward was fast even for a vampire. Yes, he definitely should race Esme. We came upon my buck, and I brought him down quickly. When I bent down to drink, Esme turned around.

"What are you doing?" I asked her. She was a strange one.

"I'm giving you some privacy while you..._feed_," she replied, spitting out the last word. Obviously, she was having difficulty accepting the idea, necessary as it was.

"Suit yourself," I said with a shrug, and made short work of the deer. I turned around and said, "Ready to go home? Or do you want to explore your new freedom?"

"I'd...I'd like to run again. It's just exhilarating. I feel so free..."

"Do me a favor and challenge Edward to a running race. A loss would do him some good."

"Yes, alright. But not now." And with that, she was off, faster than ever. I was hard pressed to keep up with her, but I had experience and knew the terrain well, so I was able to cut enough corners to keep her in sight. I didn't entirely trust her to not follow instinct just yet.

When we had gone forty miles, I called out to her.

"Yes?"

"It's time to head home now."

"Already?"

"Esme, maybe you don't realize it, but we are forty miles away from town. I told Edward we would be home thirty minutes from now. Can you still sprint home?"

"Really, we're that far?"

"Yes, and we need to go home," I repeated firmly. Running was very addictive to her. She'd have to take Edward if she wanted to pull another stunt like this one again.

"I know, I know. Ready?"

Before I could answer, she had done a complete about-face and was racing in the general direction of home. I decided to race her home, and even managed to pass her for short bursts, but she always beat me. When the house came in sight, she was in the lead. Not wanting to let Edward see a girl beat me, I put on an extra burst of speed and passed Esme. She caught up. Fast. Then I went faster. She matched me move for move. Suddenly, we were at the house... and past it. I turned, intending to cut her off and turn back to the house. The maneuver must have miffed her, because she made a sneaky little movement and cut me off. We were now running in a circle around the house, each trying to outdo the other. The circle kept getting smaller and smaller, until I touched the front door and turned to see her leaning against the front of the house, giving me a look that said 'uh-huh, sure'. I didn't see Edward sitting in the rocking chair on the porch, and apparently Esme didn't either. Until he got up and started clapping.

"I haven't seen you have so much fun in forever," he said snidely.

"So?" I don't know why I was suddenly hostile and defensive. But I was. "I'm allowed to have fun if I want to."

"Maybe tomorrow I'll race Esme. You ever been to _______________, Esme?"

"But that's so far from here."

"We went forty miles from here today," I reminded her.

"Yes, but _______________ is so far!"

"You game?"

"Alright," she said, sounding a little doubtful. "You're on."

We all trooped back indoors, and Edward went to the parlor.

"You didn't finish?" I asked.

"No, I finished it. I just want to get your opinion on it. You too, Esme."

"Really? Okay," she said, almost skipping after Edward from the excitement of listening to the finished product.

I walked in, and Edward took a deep breath. And played. The music seemed to flow from his hands to the keys to the air. It was breathtaking. Esme walked over and stood beside me. She had a look of wonder and awe on her face. She put her hand on my shoulder and leaned on me. I was surprised. And pleased. And hoping Edward was so focused on his playing he didn't notice my thoughts.

The music came to a last beautiful chord, and Esme quickly righted herself and clapped vigorously.

"Oh, it was just beautiful! Absolutely breathtaking! I loved it!" she exclaimed.

"Thank you. Carlisle?"

"It's definitely a keeper." Edward smiled, reading in my thoughts what I didn't want to say out loud. Unfortunately, he also knew why. Thankfully he didn't say anything.

"So, what do we do now?" asked Esme.

"Well, that's why you get a hobby. Edward plays the piano. I turned to studying medicine. What do you want to do? Now that you have eternity, almost nothing is unattainable," I said, thankful we had gotten away from the topic of Edward's music.

"I can sew. I play a little piano, a little singing. I've found I like running. You know what, I don't have any other clothes! I should make some new ones. New life, new clothes. Is there any cloth around?"

"We're bachelors. Of course there isn't any cloth hanging around," Edward said.

"I'll go get you some," I promised her, and went to the store to pick some up.

"Wait! Carlisle! Let me make a list of the colors, types, threads, needles, and everything else I'll need, too, since I'm sure you _bachelors_ don't have anything lying around." She handed me her list, and I went to the store. I'd never been so overwhelmed in my entire existence. So many different shades of the same color, so many variations on things that appeared to be the same. Unfortunately, I had to make some actual decisions for myself. I was completely lost, and eventually asked one of the girls working there to help me with my task. She smiled at me, and if I'd been alive I swear I would have blushed then and there. The woman helped me gather everything on the list, then rang it up. I paid for it and came back home, a triumphant look on my face. Shopping for sewing supplies was a new experience, and I felt I had done a respectable job.

"Esme? I'm home with all your...stuff," I called out, wondering where she was. Then I heard someone playing the piano and singing. Edward didn't really use his voice, and this voice was female. And beautiful. I walked into the parlor, still carrying my prize. Esme was sitting at the piano, playing a sad song, and singing along. She was so absorbed in what she was doing, she didn't even notice me when I walked in. After she released the last chord, she turned and saw me. Her face lit up, and she ran to me. Edward sniggered, reading my reaction in my thoughts. Then she grabbed the packages I was holding and began looking at everything. 'Oh,' I thought, a little disappointed.

"Did I get everything? I swear to God, I've never been that overwhelmed, or embarrassed, in my entire life! So many shades of the same color..."

Edward sniggered again. I shot him a dirty look and said, "Next time, _you're_ the one who's going to go to the store."

"Whatever," he replied, and I let the matter drop. Esme was still pawing through what I had bought eagerly.

"No size seven needles?" she asked tentatively.

"They come in sizes?" I returned.

"Yes. Needles come in sizes. The ones you bought are size five. It's okay, they're just a little daintier. I can still use them for what I need." I must have looked pathetic for her to have to reassure me that she could manage with what I'd gotten.

"Yeah? Well, I'm sure _Edward_ will do better than I did."

"Carlisle!" she exclaimed, shocked.

"What?"

"Don't get like that. You didn't know. It's okay. Look, I'll even teach you how to sew so you can see. You don't strike me as someone who makes the same mistake twice."

"I already know how to sew. I'm a doctor, remember?"

"But not sew well."

"Is that a challenge?" I was miffed now.

"Yes. But it's also an opportunity to learn a new skill. Everyone should at least know how to sew properly. Will you learn?"

Edward laughed.

"You're going to be learning too, young man. No arguments. Understand?"

"What?!" Edward choked. Then it was my turn to snigger at him.

"You heard me. Everyone in this house is going to learn how to sew to my satisfaction, or I'm going to die trying. Got it?"

"She's nuts," Edward said after giving her a hard look. "She's also incredibly determined. Carlisle, I do believe our days as free men are over."

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" and with that, she gathered up her new treasures and marched up the stairs and to her room, where we could hear the lock turning.

"Nice going, Edward. Now she's mad at you. I won't stand for it. Go apologize."

"I told you! You do too care for her. I'm telling you, give it a chance. I already know how to sew. I don't need her to teach me."

"Then just show her you know how. You know, placate her. Like it or not, she's going to be staying with us for a while, and I will not tolerate violence. You go upstairs and apologize. Right now. Go." I gave him a hard shove toward the staircase.

"Only way I'm apologizing is if you come with me. She's _your_ responsibility. Not mine."

"Oh alright."

We walked slowly up the stairs and to her door. I knocked and called softly, "Esme?" I heard a sniffle, then she called back.

"What do you want?"

"We would like to talk to you."

"About what?"

"About...Edward, help me here. What are we here to talk about, exactly?"

"Esme, I'm here to apologize and explain my actions. Will you let us in? Carlisle's just here for moral support," Edward explained.

"Yeah, okay, I'm coming." The lock turned and the door opened to reveal Esme, sitting on the bed, her sewing...stuff...spread out around her.

"Esme, I'm sorry if I offended you. I already know how to sew, and not too shabbily, either. I guess it's just been me and Carlisle for so long, I'm not used to having a third person, much less a woman, hanging around. I apologize. Would you like me to sew something and prove it to you?" She nodded quietly.

"Well?" he asked, looking around at the mass of materials. I went to sit down in the desk chair that was still next to the bed.

"That's part of the test. You have to find the right needle, material, and thread, and sew yourself a pair of new pants." She sniffled again.

I heard Edward mutter "You've got to be kidding me", but he walked over and started sorting through the miles of fabrics. He pulled out a piece of navy blue, and put it on the floor. Next he found some navy thread and picked out a needle. He even remembered the scissors, button, and zipper. He gracefully sat down next to his pile and got to work. Within twenty minutes, there was a pair of perfectly respectable navy slacks sitting in front of him. Esme looked thrilled.

"You're free to go, Edward. Carlisle, do you know how to sew?" Edward got up with his new pants and went back to his piano, laughing. I felt like sticking my tongue out at him, but stopped myself just in time.

"No, I don't know the first thing about sewing. I mean, I can put a button back on a shirt, and could _maybe_ fix a tear, but I don't know how to sew, no."

"Let's get started then!" For the next two hours, Esme walked me through the process of making a pair of pants. I swore to myself that the finished product would never leave the house. I looked at them again, and decided they would never even leave my bedroom. They looked awful. Sewing was hard.

"Don't worry, I'll make you a pair you can wear," Esme said, seeming to guess my thoughts as I studied the 'pants' I had made. I'd never wear them, but I would definitely keep them.

"I thought you said you needed all this stuff for women's clothes because all you've got is what you're wearing now."

"Yes. But there will be plenty of leftover cloth. Which reminds me, I need to see the bill. I would like to pay you back for all this."

"You don't have to pay me back. Really," I insisted when she looked like she was going to argue. "Please, let it go. I was happy to help. Even if I didn't get everything exactly right. I'll learn. You'll see."

"Well, alright then. I can pay you back by teaching you how to use everything!"

I couldn't tell her to just let it go, so I hastily agreed.

"Wonderful! Now if you don't mind, I'd like a little privacy to get started on my new project..." She was already off and working before she finished her sentence.

I went back downstairs and decided to peruse my many medical textbooks to see if there was anything about all the many difference between the female psyche and the male. There was such a difference, I felt sure I would find something. I sat reading in my study for five hours, with only the mention that women usually had better eyesight than men. I finally gave up and went to check on Esme.

"Esme?"

There was a moment of silence, then a distracted, "Yes?"

"May I come in? It's Carlisle."

"...Sure, come on in." I walked in. And my mouth dropped open. There was fabric covering every inch of available space in the room. Yet somehow she was still working. I hadn't thought I'd bought that much fabric.

"Um, Esme?"

"Mmmmm?"

"Do you want to take a break for a little while?"

"Yes, alright. How long has it been since you left?"

"Well, according to the clock in my study, which is pretty accurate, it's been more than five hours."

"Really? I had no idea..."

"So? You want to...do...something?" I asked, suddenly shy and nervous.

"I'd like to take a walk outside. Would you like to go with me? I know you want to keep an eye on me in case of...temptation."

Boy, she was astute. "Yeah, I'd like that." I offered her my arm, and we walked downstairs. I didn't see Edward anywhere. He had left a note on the kitchen table explaining that he was out hunting. His thirst was bothering him. I made a line under his signature and wrote a note to him that Esme and I were going for a walk. I then put my signature, and walked arm in arm with Esme out the door and into the forest. We gained the path, and walked in companionable silence for some time. I tried desperately to think of something to talk to her about, but I discarded every idea as inappropriate for the moment. Suddenly, Esme tugged on my hand.

"Something the matter?" I asked, concerned.

"Could we sit down for a few minutes? I may be super-human, but I'm not immune to pain."

"Of course!" I hastened to find a place we could sit and rest. There were a couple of rocks a few feet away that would do nicely. We headed to them and sat down, facing each other.

"Do you really want me to stick around?" she asked quietly.

"Of course I want you around. You're...interesting. I've never met someone like you. When you can live forever, what is there to live for? You bring something new and exciting to Edward's and my existences."

"I don't think Edward likes me all that much."

"He's just...very independent. He does like you. He just doesn't relate to people all that well."

"Oh. I thought maybe he resented my presence. That maybe I was getting between you and him. You two are awfully close to one another."

"Practically brothers. Except that I'm more of a father figure to him. He keeps so much bottled up inside, I worry about him a lot. I'm just glad he's found an outlet with his music. I still wish he would talk to me more. But he does create beautiful, moving pieces of music, as you heard today."

"Yes, moving is a great word for his compositions."

"How do you know? You've only heard the one."

"I just know. Call it a mother's instinct."

"But you aren't his mother."

"If he'll stand it, I'm going to try to be."

"Yeah?" I said, laughing at the thought of dainty little Esme ordering stubborn and angsty Edward to eat his vegetables and go to bed on time.

"You don't think I can do it?"

"Of course I have faith in you! It's just that, Edward can be a bit...stubborn sometimes. He's not exactly willful, but he does have a mind of his own. And the guts to follow through with his words."

"If you're Edward's father figure, and I'm going to...try...to be his mother figure..."

"Yes?" I said, a little worried about what she wasn't saying.

"Maybe we should...get together...sometime."

"Are you trying to ask me out?" I mentally flinched, since I'd sort of yelled the question.

"I'm sorry. I'm not usually so bold. Forward. Fast. I guess I've just been through a whole lot in a short amount of time, and it's just...addled my mind a bit..."

"Esme?"

"Yes, Carlisle?"

"Do you...like me that way?"

"...I dare say I...do. Yes, I do like you...that way."

"Okay then."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"What now?"

"I don't know." Then she did the most amazing thing of all. She leaned toward me, hesitated a moment, then kissed me. Right on the mouth. I was so surprised, I went rigid as a statue. When she felt me go all tense and still, she pulled back.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and took off into the forest, running furiously.

"Wait! Esme!" I called, but my efforts to call her back were in vain. She was gone in the blink of an eye. I sighed, and started tracking her. It wasn't hard, since she was being very noisy and not following the path, so the foliage was bent and broken where she had run and trampled them. Man, she was fast. I pushed myself as hard as I could, and was finally able to see her. I tried to call her back again.

"Esme, wait! We need to talk!"

"I can't!" she yelled back.

"Yes, you can. You can do anything you put your mind to!" That caught her attention.

"What do you want?" she asked warily, finally coming to a stop.

"I want to talk to you. That's all."

"Look, I'm sorry for what I did. Now leave me alone." She would have taken off again if I hadn't grabbed her arm.

"Let go!"

"Esme. Look at me."

"Carlisle, I¾"

"Look at me." When she slowly turned her face toward me, I saw the scared look on her face. "Esme," I whispered. "It's okay."

"No it isn't. I ruin everything. Father said so."

"Your father is wrong."

"No, he was right. I should have listened to him! I should never have run away from the hospital!" And she began sobbing.

"Oh, Esme." And I pulled her into my arms, letting her sob on my shoulder. She soon started babbling, rambling and sobbing at the same time. Even to my ears, nothing she said made sense. I held her at arm's length, gathering courage for what I was about to do. I took my right hand and nudged her chin up. Then, before I lost my nerve, I leaned toward her and pressed my lips to hers.

Two things happened¾she stopped talking and started kissing me back, and I suddenly knew that I never wanted her to leave. I wanted to see her every day. I wanted to watch her try to take on tasks that were twice her size. I wanted to hear her ridiculous boasts and comments, her witty retorts and outrageous ideas. I wanted to just be with her. I had never felt this way before, and it scared me a little. So I pulled back from her.

Her expression almost made me laugh. She looked absolutely dazed, and if she could, she probably would've fainted. Instead, I swept her up into my arms and started walking back to the forest path. Esme just put her arms around my neck and her head on my shoulder. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she'd fallen asleep.

It took a long time, but we finally came back to the house. Edward was once again sitting in the rocking chair on the porch. He quickly jumped up and gave a startled shout when he saw me carrying a motionless Esme in my arms.

"What happened?! I thought you said you were only going for a walk! You've been gone for hours!"

"We had to work some stuff out."

"But¾"

"Edward, we can discuss this later. I'm sure Esme would like to rest right now."

"So she's okay?"

"Listen and you tell me."

"Funny. I'll get the door. Hold on."

"Edward?" Esme called softly.

"Yes?"

"Do you mind if I act as your surrogate?"

"My surrogate? Surrogate what?"

"Mother. May I be your mother?" Edward cast me an incredulous look before choking out, "Yeah, sure, whatever you want. Just, are you okay? You don't look so good, even for someone who's dead."

"Not funny."

"Yeah, okay, let's get you to bed, Mom."

"Thank you," she whispered before getting that vacant, dreamy look back on her face that said she was completely out of it.

"What did you do to her?" Edward asked as I walked past him.

"Me? She started it."

"Started what?"

"Later."

"Now."

"Edward, I've been living our 'walk' over and over in my head the entire way home. In fact, I still am. I just can't get over it. Or help it. It was just so..." I trailed off, leaving Edward to fill in the blank.

"Oh. I see," he said. He was frowning, concentrating very hard on something.

"Do you?"

"Yes, I do. I'd tell you to pop the question when she recovers her sanity, except that she would probably say no, you should go on a few more dates first. By the way, that was some date you guys had. It wasn't exactly what I meant when I said you should ask her out, but, whatever works."

"I'm glad I can always count on your undying love and support, Edward."

"


End file.
